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Kid Friendly New Year’s Goals

Kid Friendly New Year's GoalsOne annual tradition in families around the world is to set goals, or resolutions, on New Year’s Eve. If you and your family celebrate this tradition it is a great opportunity to start to talk to your children about how to set goal that are going to help them to achieve their personal objectives in life.

Goal setting is really a very complex endeavor and one that needs to be scaled down to an appropriate level for a child. Most children, even those that are just starting child care, can grasp the concept of having a goal and then developing a plan to achieve that goal when they focus in on one specific focus area.

Talking About Goals

A great option to help kids with goal setting is for parents, grandparents, teachers and other family members to talk about their own goals with children. This can be done in fun ways through drawing your goals or writing a story about your goals and why they are important to you.

It is critical to choose concrete, measurable goals so that children understand that these are not just wishes or dreams, they are attainable changes that they can control. Wishes and dreams are important too, but they are different than goals.

Making Family Goals Together

Moms, Dads, teachers, and other family members that interact with the children can all come together and make group goals. Group goals for families are a real bonding experience and can highlight how a family works to support each other throughout the year.

Often family New Year’s goals focus on helping each other, spending more time together, or perhaps everyone agreeing to help out at a local charity or community organization.

The key is for parents to model goal setting in their own lives and talk to children about how goals help to provide measurable milestones and accomplishments in life. Kids should be encouraged to set goals that are meaningful to them and not necessarily the same goals that the parents may have for the child.

A great exercise is to then have the family share their goals and everyone else gives one way that they will help their family member achieve his or her goal. This is a positive and relationship building exercise that is a great way to start off a new year in any household.

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Helping Children Deal with Stress

Helping Children Deal with StressIt’s no doubt that children are one of life’s miracles but as our offspring we sometimes tend to forget that while they may be all that is good in us, they are not our clones and are certainly not little adults. They are incapable of handling things in the same way that we are – which means they are unable to manage stress like we can. Not to mention, something that we would easily overlook would be a severe stressor to our kids – for example, showing up at school and finding desks rearranged differently than they have been all year or a substitute teacher instead of their regular teacher.

If your child is having breakdowns frequently, having trouble sleeping or nightmares or being clingy when they weren’t before, are all signs that your child could be experiencing more stress in their lives than they were before. Trust your instincts if you notice a change in your child’s behavior and try these tips to help them cope with stress more easily:

  1. Let them know it’s ok to talk about it – some children have a difficult time expressing themselves or they may be afraid to say what they are feeling. Make it very clear to your child that if they are feeling out of sorts that it’s ok to talk about it. Help them share with you if they are feeling scared or nervous or worried about something.
  2. Encourage your children to find positive in what is a stressful situation in their lives – for example, instead of being worried over having a substitute teacher, remind them that they are safe even with the substitute and their regular teacher will be back soon.
  3. Teach your children simple stress-relieving techniques like breaking and finding positive even in stressful situations.
  4. Establish routines for your children, especially at bedtime. These routines, when coupled with relaxing music will help your child relax after a rough day.
  5. Be sure to spend enough quality time with your children each day. This will help them to become more self-confident and assured and if something upsets their normal routine, they are less likely to act out.

Working with your children now to handle stress will help them be better at coping as they grow into adults.

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How to Choose a Good Role Model for Your Child

How to Choose a Good Role Model for Your ChildWe all have had at least one role model in our lives. Role models are important to our psychological well-being because they help us guide us through certain decision making processes that can ultimately affect the outcome of our lives. Children often have many choices when it comes to choosing role models – most often their first role models are parents followed by other adults and relatives, such as teachers.

Role models should be a point of inspiration and give us an idea of how we should behave no matter the situation. This is why it’s very important for a potential role model provide good behavior – behavior that children can imitate without repercussion. There are many choices when children are younger, however as they grow older it can become more difficult for good role models to be found.

Helping your child choose a role model involves finding a person who has good morals, doesn’t take part in behavior that is self-destructive, is hard working, creative and free thinking. And yes it’s true that you can’t pick the role model your child emulates, you can do your part to make sure they are exposed to the type of people who would make good role models to begin with.

Your child’s role model doesn’t have to be Superman or someone famous – in fact, a celebrity may not always be a good choice as many tend to indulge in self-destructing behavior or take part in behavior that is just unsavory to begin with. A good role model will be someone who is similar to you.

When your child has discovered that he or she has a role model, it’s important for you as the parent not to put this person on a pedestal. Role models are human and as such subject to failure and mistakes. You can recognize this person as a guide for the behavior you would like your child to imitate but not necessarily someone your child should act like exclusively.

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Helping Children Make Friends

Helping Children Make FriendsWhether you have a shy child or outgoing one, it can be challenging for children to make new friends and navigate social situations on their own. Though it’s not a good idea to manage every aspect of your children’s friendships or even bribe their peers to play with them, parents can provide opportunities and gentle coaching towards helping children make friends.

  • Give children lots of opportunities to play with peers. Arrange playdates for preschoolers and school age children. If your preschooler is not in child care, enroll him or her in a preschool or a playgroup that meets regularly. Go to the park or other places where your child will have a chance to meet peers under your supervision. There is no substitute for the experience children gain from interacting with peers. Children who have had many opportunities to play with peers from an early age are clearly at an advantage when they enter formal group settings such as child care or elementary school.

Playground play teaches children about partnership, teamwork, and fair play. It is through play that a child’s primitive understanding about “rules” is reinforced because most games and social situations have rules. While our home environments may be more forgiving and tolerant about bending the game rules, it is quickly apparent to children that their peers aren’t always as tolerant and forgiving. Michele Borba, EdD, summarizes the importance of social skills, “Friends play an enormous part in the development of children’s self-esteem. If we want our children to become their personal best, it’s essential to improve their ability to get along well with others.”

  • Play with your child like a peer. Get on the floor and build with blocks or act out imaginary roles. For school age children, play an outdoor activity like basketball or soccer or grab a board game for fun inside. You will learn a lot about how your child plays when you play with him. Observational studies indicate that the parents of the most socially competent children laugh and smile often, avoid criticizing their child during play, are responsive to the child’s ideas, and aren’t too directive.
  • Talk to your child about their friends. Ask your child about what happened in preschool or school. “Whom did you play with today?” “Why do you like playing with that friend?” Have your child tell you about interactions that upset him. “How did you feel when he took your shovel at the park?” “Why do you think he did that?” “What could you do next time to play together?” Or if it was your child who took the shovel, ask the same questions, but talk about other ways to express his feelings and wants.
  • Make your conversations opportunities to solve problems together. Remember, these are conversations and not lectures. It makes sense that we want our children to learn from what we say, but sometimes we need to just listen to how they feel and then develop coping strategies together.
  • Try not to interfere in your child’s play situations. Unless your child or the other children are in danger of getting hurt or the situation has escalated beyond their ability to work out the issues, let your child work out her own social challenges. Children can benefit from learning to compromise on their own in a safe, supervised setting.

Helping Children Navigate Social Situations

Despite our best efforts to teach them, our children may still need help learning to take turns or accepting the ideas of others. As eager as we may be for them to succeed, here are some suggestion from Richard Lavoie, author of Teacher’s Guide: Last One Picked…First One Picked On, when coaching our children about social situations.

  • Encourage children to make friends with kids who are a year or two younger. Although the children are different ages, they may be at a similar developmental level. By befriending younger children, your child may enjoy a degree of status and acceptance that he does not experience among his peers.
  • Give children the opportunity to opt out when they do not want to participate in large groups play activities.
  • Avoid highly charged competitive situations for young children. Competitive sports or other activities are often a source of great anxiety and failure for children trying to make friends. Parents should focus on participation, enjoyment, contribution, and satisfaction in competitive activities.
  • Listen to children as they share about difficulties during a social situation and discuss optional strategies without judgement or punishment.

Resources for Children Who Need More Help Making Friends

Some children are born needing more help in forming friendships. Shyness, empathy, and the ability to read social cues are traits heavily influenced by our genes. Some children are very shy and need more arranged opportunities and gentle encouragement. Some children have less empathy and have trouble understanding the feeling or behavior of others. They may not recognize social cues or have insight into their own behavior that turns off other children and need our help.

Conversations about real life help. Here are some children’s books about making friends.

  • Making Friends: A Mister Rogers’ First Experience Book, written by Fred Rogers
  • How Kids Make Friends: Secrets for Making Lots of Friends, No Matter How Shy You Are, written by Lonnie Michelle
    We want our children’s lives to be happy, healthy and filled with good friends. Helping young children make friends and manage social interactions is a great way to prepare them for a life of navigating a social world.

For more information on childcare and parenting, check out Premier Academy’s Blog Page.

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Baby Safety Tips for the Home

Baby Safety Tips for the HomeBringing home a new baby is an exciting and magical event for any family. Preparing your home in advance for the big day helps parents to proactively provide built in safety for the new addition to the family.

There are a range of different baby safety products on the market today that can make Mom and Dad’s life a lot easier. However, there are also some simple and very traditional types of safety practices that will keep your infant out of harm’s way.

Before your baby is up and about crawling and playing look at each room of the home. General safety issues that can be put in place include

  • Baby safe latches on all drawers and cabinets in kitchens, bathrooms, bedrooms and storage areas to prevent injury if baby pulls the drawers or cabinets open or gets into the stored contents.
  • Check all electrical cords and remove any that dangle or hang down. Cover all electrical outlets with spring loaded covers that automatically close when the cord is removed.
  • Roll all cords for blinds or drapes up to well above the height that a crawling baby, toddler or infant can reach.
  • Have a new crib and mattress for the baby that is designed to prevent the baby from getting hands or limbs lodged between the posts. The mattress should fit correctly in the crib and extend to the frame on all sides.
  • Limit items in and around the crib and ensure any mobiles or hanging items on the crib are safe and secure and approved for use for a baby.
  • Always have the correctly sized, approved car safety seat for your baby and do not travel with the baby in a vehicle when the child is not secured in the baby car seat.
  • Avoid using any types of room freshening or air treatment products in the nursery or the home as an infant may be extremely sensitive to these products.

Last, and perhaps most importantly, never leave your baby unattended unless they are in a safe, secure location such as their crib. This ensures that the baby can’t get into anything that is potentially dangerous in the few seconds you step away.

For more information on childcare and parenting, check out Premier Academy’s Blog Page.

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It’s Better to Give Than to Receive

 

It's Better to Give Than to ReceiveIt can be a difficult task teaching children that it is better to give than to receive – after all who doesn’t like to receive a gift right? However, by teaching your children this valuable lesson is one of the most rewarding things you can give them.

Going about teaching your children about giving can be difficult, so here are a few ways to work with your children:

  • Start small, especially if you are working with very young children. An example would be making cookies for a sick friend. Let the child know that he or she is doing something nice for the friend, even though your child may want to make and keep the cookies. Avoid this by making enough for both of them.
  • Next, teach them that money isn’t necessary in order to give. They can draw a picture, do chores without being asked or even make breakfast in bed.
  • Let your child be involved in deciding who will benefit from the gift. Maybe you’ve given to the cancer research society for years, but your child heard about a need at the local pet shelter. By allowing them to help with the decision they feel important and learn the value of giving to those who are less fortunate.
  • Children learn by watching their most influential role model: YOU. If you volunteer at a local soup kitchen, when your child is old enough, let them go with you and start helping.

By teaching your children the value of giving rather than receiving, you’re instilling a sense of pride and self-esteem. These are character traits that will take them far as they grow.

For more information on childcare and parenting, check out Premier Academy’s Blog Page.

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Talking to Children About Healthy Eating Habits and Positive Body Image

Talking to Children About Healthy Eating Habits and Positive Body ImageFew topics are as sensitive to talk about with children as weight and body image. How do we as parents contribute to positive body images in our children and teach healthy eating practices without making anyone feel guilty or bad? That can be a tall order. We know we need to start young and set the stage for healthy lifetime habits early. Before we even talk about the topic, however, we can model positive practices.

Children Learn Healthy Eating Habits from Modeling

If we have healthy eating habits, chances are our children will too. Or if we are selective eaters and avoid fruits and veggies, they will likely follow our lead. We can model by building family nutrition and fitness into our family’s day on a regular basis. Can we share meals together – lunch or dinner – at least four days per week? Are there ways we can exercise together, for example, swimming, walking or bike rides to promote healthy exercise habits?

While modeling healthy eating habits, be careful about the messages you send to children about food and eating. Try to avoid the practice of requiring children to eat everything on their plate at meal time which may have been required of us as children. There are different opinions on this, but some health educators encourage children to try one bite of everything, never pushing or forcing. Others advocate for offering children a favorite food and a new food together so they will have at least one healthy food option that they like.

Steer clear of labeling different foods as “bad” or “unhealthy”.  If you label a food unhealthy, it is confusing to children when they then see a beloved caregiver or friend eating that food. You can say that healthy eating refers to the whole of what we eat, and not one individual food or foods which are “bad” for you. The Partnership for a Healthier America is embarking on a campaign to encourage everyone to eat more fruits and vegetables. Taking the approach of encouraging healthier snacks may be more productive than singling out “bad” foods.

KidsHealth.org offers “Go, Slow, and Whoa!” as another approach to healthy eating:

  • “Go” foods are the healthiest options for kids and can be eaten almost anytime
  • “Slow” foods are those you can eat sometimes but not every day
  • “Whoa” foods should make you think, “Wait, should my child eat that?” These are the least nutritious and should only be eaten occasionally.

Healthy Eating Habits for Young Children

  • Infants: With infants, we pay attention to their cues, and stop feeding them when they indicate they are finished by turning away or refusing the breast, bottle or spoon. Be careful what food choices you make for your baby. Solids are not recommended to be served until at least 4 months of age or often later. And even infants can develop preferences for sweets over other foods, particularly if their first solid foods are desserts or fruits.
  • Toddlers and Preschoolers: With toddler and preschool children, provide healthy snacks and beverages such as water. Eating slowly together as a family is a good practice. Never require children to eat when they are not hungry. And try not to use food as a reward or punishment. If you notice that your child is developing eating issues, they should be discussed with your pediatrician right away.

Talking to Preteens and Teens about Positive Body Image and Healthy Habits

From their earliest years, children are immersed in images and talk of the “ideal” body, typically slim, light skin tone and well-proportioned. And yet we all know genetics gives each of us a unique body type, few of which fall into the “ideal” category. And even those with “ideal” body types often feel pressure to maintain their “ideal” body.

With tweens and teens, subtle and not so subtle messages about weight and body type have an impact. These body images come from people, television, magazines, social media, etc. If your son or daughter opens up the subject, use it as an opportunity to communicate that very few people look like models; models also feel stress about their bodies; and being really skinny isn’t a good thing.

If your child says “I’m too fat” rather than jumping to “No, you’re not” right away, ask “What makes you think that?” to try to keep the conversation open and keep your child talking about this issue. It’s important to know how to communicate with your teen. Spend time listening to him or her. Express your feelings about the topic, but rather than negating your child’s feelings, try saying, “Here’s what I think. . . ” so it feels more like your personal thoughts than a judgment on your child. At the same time, if you ever suspect an eating disorder, talk right away to your pediatrician to find resources.

Talking about weight, body image and health can be sensitive, but it is also very worthwhile to keep the topic on the table and encourage children to talk about what they think and feel. Remember that feelings about this body image start early so be thoughtful about the impact of your words and actions in your child’s life.

For more information on childcare and parenting, check out Premier Academy’s Blog Page.

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Helping Children Cope With Change

Helping Children Cope With ChangeWe live in a constantly changing world. The pace of change is the most rapid that it has ever been. New products and processes are continually available and the rate at which we are exposed to new information is continually increasing. This can be overwhelming at times. Sometimes we are able to shelter our children from so much change, but often not. If it is overwhelming to us, how does it feel to children? And that is just “normal” everyday change. What about the big unexpected changes?

Most of us, and especially children, appreciate some level of “sameness” in our lives. That doesn’t mean that we don’t appreciate the new and the novel, but we’d like more sameness than change. Children need time to process all of the information that they are exposed to and appreciate daily routines and repetition or they may become stressed. They like knowing that when they arrive home from child care, mommy and daddy fix dinner and then the family eats, and then there is a bath and then two stories. Children thrive on the predictability of daily routines.

So how then do we help children handle change – both the big changes (new sibling; family illness; new school) and the little changes (new breakfast foods; new morning routine; new shoes)?

Tips for Helping Children Cope with Change

  • Give advanced warning. Have a discussion something like, “The place where Mommy works thinks she will be a bigger help if we move to another place. We are going to look for a new house in a place called Georgia. Will you help us pick out the house?”
  • Keep as much the same as possible. During a big change, like adding a sibling to the family, try to keep as much the same as possible. For example, this is not the best time to also move your child from a crib to big bed.
  • Answer all their questions. Depending on your child’s age, he may have a lot of questions. Do your best to answer them all, even if some are repeated many times.
  • Expect that some regression may happen. At times of change, children may regress to earlier behaviors. For example, a child who was toilet trained may revert back to having accidents. This is normal – strive for patience.
  • Be accepting of grieving. Your child may go through a process that looks a lot like grieving as she navigates new waters with a new house, sibling, teacher or school. Listen, don’t be too quick to distract, and at the end, remind her of all the positives.

During times of change, a little extra attention will go a long way in helping children deal with stress. Plan an hour or a half hour each week where your child has your undivided attention. It is important to use play time to help a child’s development. Let your child pick the activity or follow your child’s lead. For example, if your infant wants to drop a toy over and over again from her high chair, retrieve the toy and let her drop it again. Or your preschooler wants to make cookies. Find time to do that and let him take an active role in the process even if he makes a mess. How does that help your child deal with change? Extra attention and patience from you helps your child understand that although some aspects of life are changing, your love and care remains constant.

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Sunglasses and Eye Health

Sunglasses and Eye HealthIn the summertime, it’s second-nature to apply tons of sunscreen on our children to protect their skin from the harmful effects of the sun. But many times, as much attention as we give to their skin, we often overlook another area that can be damaged by the sun – their eyes.

We put sunglasses on to shield our eyes and our children should have the same protection. This protects them now and also helps to prevent them from developing common eye problems later on in life. Keep in mind that UV rays are radiation and radiation is damaging to the eyes just as much as it can damage anything else. Here is just a partial list of those common eye problems that you should be aware of:

  • Over-exposure to the sun’s UV radiation can cause the cells of the eye – inside and out – to divide abnormally. This abnormal division can cause tumors – both malignant and benign.
  • “Surfer’s Eye” is common in coastal regions and is caused by sun exposure. This affects the cornea which can affect your ability to focus clearly.
  • Overexposure to the sun also effects the lens of the eye as well as the retina which can lead to macular degeneration and cataracts later on.

A good rule of thumb to help protect your children’s eyes is to put sunglasses on them if they are going to spend any extended amount of time in the sun. It’s never too early to start this practice. You’ll want to use standard tinted glasses not the colored lenses that are popular with kids.

If you have younger children who are having a hard time wearing the sunglasses, a large hat with a wide brim or visor is the next best thing. You can also try attaching an elastic band to the sunglasses to help hold them in place.

Sunglasses, sunscreen and your children should be a common routine in the summer!

For more information on childcare and parenting, check out Premier Academy’s Blog Page.

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Preparing A Child For A New Baby

Preparing A Child For A New BabyWhen is that baby going back to the hospital?” asked the preschooler to her mother holding her new baby brother.

For you, the arrival of a new baby is a happy event. This is not necessarily true for an older child. The excitement and adjustment of a new baby in the house may naturally cause an older sibling to feel left out, abandoned, and less special – even as you reassure him that that isn’t the case. Many children may be jealous or tired of all the commotion and attention towards the new baby.

Sibling Rivalry & How to Help Siblings Build Relationships

What is sibling rivalry?

All children want the love and attention of their parents, and when a new child arrives, parents must divide their attention out of necessity. It’s important to remember that a child’s feelings of jealousy and fears of abandonment can exist simultaneously with feelings of love and pleasure about the new baby. Children may feel the new baby is a replacement or not yet understand how to assume the role of a big brother or sister.

With a little effort, parents can help foster sibling relationships and guide older children through this family transition.

  • Accept that sibling differences are normal.It’s natural for parents to track milestones between their children especially if they are keeping a baby book. Rather than compare, accept that children are different and come with their own unique characteristics.
  • Acknowledge your child’s feelings.Your child may display a wide range of emotions towards the new baby. Rather than dismissing it, acknowledge his feelings: “Is it frustrating that I have to help the baby while I am spending time with you?” Spend time remembering your own experiences and feelings as a sibling or talk to friends about their sibling relationships. Share your own stories with your child that help to illustrate that sibling differences are natural and it’s okay to have various feelings about the new baby or becoming a sibling.
  • Walk down memory lane with your child.Show your child pictures from his “babyhood” to illustrate the love and attention you gave him when he was an infant. Tell your child stories about all the wonderful baby things she did.
  • Plan one-on-one time with your child.Schedule special dates with your child and keep them. One-on-one time doesn’t have to be elaborate, a simple walk outside or snuggle time with a book are great ways to connect with your older child.
  • Integrate your child in the infant care routine. Make one of the baby’s daytime naps a special time to spend with your older child. During feedings, have your child join you to read a book or play a simple game such as iSpy. Give your child a special job during diaper changes or have her gently pat the baby’s back when he or she is crying.
  • Give it time.Some children may take longer to accept a new sibling into the family. Try not to force the relationship but let it grow over time.

Individual Reactions Children Have to New Babies

Why is it more difficult for some children to adjust to a new sibling? The University of Michigan Health System suggests many factors that can contribute to a hard adjustment:

  • Research indicates that a child’s personality has the greatest effect on how he or she reacts to a new baby.
  • Children with the closest relationships with their mothers have shown to become more upset after the baby is born.
  • Your child’s developmental stage may affect how well they can share your attention. Often toddlers have more trouble getting used to a new baby, because their needs for time and closeness from their parents are still great.
  • Stress on the family can make your older child’s adjustment harder.

Children’s Books About Adjusting to a New Baby

There are many great children’s books available about pregnancy, birth, adoption, and new baby siblings. Reading together will help your child realize her feelings and ideas are normal and that no matter what happens, you love her in a very special way and always will.

Toddler books:

  • Waiting for Baby by Rachel Fuller
  • My New Baby by Annie Kubler
  • We Have a Baby by Cathryn Falwel
  • The New Baby by Fred Rogers
  • The New Baby at Your House by Joanna Cole

Preschooler books:

  • Baby Brother by Tanneke Wigersma
  • Julius, the Baby of the World by Kevin Henkes
  • Will There be a Lap for Me? by Dorothy Corey
  • When the New Baby Comes, I’m Moving Out and Nobody Asked Me if I Wanted a Baby Sister by Martha Alexander

Pre-Kindergarten through School-age books:

  • A New Baby Is Coming! by Emily Menendez-Aponte
  • My New Baby and Me by Dian Smith
  • Arthur and the Baby by Marc Brown
  • Pinky and Rex and the New Baby by James Howe
  • Welcoming Babies by Margy Burns Knight
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